YOU KNOW YOU ARE A ROWER WHEN.....

  1. everything you do is "in 2..."
  2. you need to have a small pushy person around telling you what to do all the time
  3. you can get up, get dressed and get out of the dorm before your eyes are fully open
  4. the phrase "cox box" doesn't make you giggle
  5. you believe the world wouldn't exist without spandex
  6. you only recognize your friends from behind
  7. when you need to go anywhere, you have a sudden urge to throw your car over your shoulder
  8. before you go anywhere, you are at Main 20 minutes early
  9. you stick water bottles in your shorts for no reason at all
  10. you believe all authority figures carry a megaphone
  11. you sit in class leaning to your rigger
  12. half your body is bigger than the other
  13. you blame bad moods on "the set"
  14. your friends need a rowing translator to decipher your language
  15. you can wear the same thing every morning for a week and not think twice
  16. you think sleeping late is waking up at 8:30.
  17. everything's a race: you walk quickly to class, just so you can pass people
  18. when someone mentions being awake, you turn parallel and set up for it.
  19. when you sit down in class, you look for the tie-in shoes.
  20. you constantly check the tightness of nuts in handrails, chairs, door handles, etc.
  21. you think gloves are for sissies, but a nice pair of poogies is really stylin'
  22. you bring up the beauty of the dawn, and people give you blank stares
  23. overhearing people talk about how little sleep they got causes you to smirk, and maybe get medieval on their ass
  24. your vision of going away for the weekend is other people's vision of Hell
  25. You admire the man who wears boxers under his spandex much more than a woman wearing a g-string under hers
  26. You watch videos together, and it's ok to say "She's looking really long."
  27. ...you're giving directions to a friend and you wonder why she's looking at you funny, until you realize you just said "turn to port" instead of "take a left."
  28. ...you dress and undress one-handed so you don't have to take your hand off the oar.
  29. ...every time you sit in a chair you are mildly surprised to discover that it doesn't slide back and forth.

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